Hurry up, Boo. I want to use the shower. (Speaks to the audience, who
seems to be her great friend:) First I was a tomboy. I used to climb trees
and beat up my brother Tom. Then I used to try to break my sister Joanie's
voice box because she liked to sing. She
always scratched me though, so instead I tried to play Emily's cello. Except I don't have a lot of musical talent,
but I'm very popular. And I know more
about the cello than people who don't know anything. I don't like the cello, it's too much work and
besides, keeping my legs open that way made me feel funny. I asked Emily if it made her feel funny and
she didn't know what I meant:; and then when I told her she cried for two whole
hours and then went to confession twice, just in case the priest didn't
understand her the first time. Dopey Emily. She means well. (Calls
offstage:) Booey! I'm pregnant! (To audience:) Actually I couldn't
be because I'm a virgin. A married man
tried to have an affair with me, but he was married and so it would have been
pointless. I didn't know he was married
until two months ago. Then I met Booey, sort of on the rebound. He seems fine
though. (Calls out:) Booey! (To audience:) I went to confession
about the cello practicing, but I don't think the priest heard me. He didn't
say anything. He didn't even give me a penance. I wonder if nobody was in
there. But as long as your conscience is all right, then so is your soul. (Calls,
giddy, happy:) Booey, come on!
Bette
the Marriage of Bette and Boo by Christopher Durang
0 comments:
Post a Comment